I declare my love for 80's Scream Queen Kelli Maroney

It's no secret among my nerdy friends that I had (have) a huge crush on Kelli Maroney. The baby-faced cutie is the main reason I kept going back to B horror flicks like Chopping Mall, Night of the Comet, and The Zero Boys. She is tiny but tough and always added a bit of depth to the usual stereotypical roles she was given. She is the epitome of the sarcastic, spunky lady whether wielding an uzi or her trademark sharp tongue. I miss when scream queens had an edge, wit, intelligence, and could still be easy on the eyes without having to be chiseled super model fake sexy. It would be great to have a revival of strong female leads in future horror and genre films.

I first fell for Kelli when she played Sam, the aloof but deadly cheerleader in Night of the Comet. She could handle firearms and mutated zombies quite well as she traversed the post-apocalyptic city looking for boys and mall bargains with her sister Regina (Catherine Mary Stewart).


This zombie was definitely trying to "cop" a feel.

Kelli spent more time in the mall, but this time fleeing from malfunctioning blood-crazed Killbots in Chopping Mall. Kelli played Allison alongside another scream queen, Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator, From Beyond). Somehow the prospect of having your head blown off by a Killbot lazer wasn't so bad when Kelli was around with her infectious smile.


"Man, I just wanted to party and have sex in a mall after closing hours and now these damn Killbots are after us. Wanna make out?"

Kelli is sarcastic and tough as ever playing Jamie in The Zero Boys. When a group of paintball playing friends spend the weekend in a secluded cabin, they get more than they bargained for in the shape of a stalking psychotic madman. Not content to be the victim, Kelli dished out her own brand of ass kicking on the backwoods maniac.



"Hey, buddy. My eyes are up here and I'll definitely kick you in the nuts."

Kelli, I'm sure you're reading this. I'm definitely not single, but maybe we can work something out. Call me. If we could just act out the barn torture scene in The Zero Boys, I promise to leave you alone. No really, the emails and serenades on your voicemail will stop. I promise.

Kelli is still working hard on film and television productions. She recently appeared on a first season episode of True Blood. She has been the subject of many loving tributes and interviews that can be found here:

Kelley Maroney's website